Do you have Bingo butt?

Well Babes, unfortunately I have to admit that I do.  So in trying to make sure that I stay the Fabulously Gorgeous Bingo Babe that I am (OK…you can stop laughing) I have begun my quest to find a diet that will help me trim some of the Bodacious off my butt.  As I always try to pass on good information, I also want to pass on a few warnings so you can learn from my mistakes. This article may be a little longer than most, but to be honest I was really angry when I wrote it.  So read on and hopefully it will help.

I am generally not a negative person.  I try to believe there is at least a little bit of truth in the weight loss programs that are circulating on the internet today.  I mean really … They are selling some of this stuff for hundreds, even thousands of dollars.

But ya know what?

Many of these companies don’t see us as people; they see us as an order number with a credit card, so they play with our emotions. These companies, that seem to spring up overnight with a different angle to solve our weight problems, know how badly we want to lose weight. They are counting on it!

Like I said, they use our emotions against us.

It just doesn’t seem fair, does it?

Now I’m not asking for much.  I just want a weight loss program that is safe, effective, isn’t a bunch of prepackaged chemicals or an herb, hand picked off of a single tree that only grows on the sunny side of a hill in another country…and

… I don’t want to give up my first born to pay for it. I would rather use my money to play Bingo.

The introduction pages of these diets or videos are usually full of success stories, and before and after pictures of the beautiful people who have supposedly lost a gazillion pounds in a very short amount of time.  They didn’t have to change their eating habits, or even get their big butts off the couch!

Just pop this pill or drink a fruit flavored potion and “Abracadabra”…you are thin!   WOW, sounds good to me.

I don’t want to have to move my big butt either.  Bingo players usually aren’t fat, we choose to believe that we have just developed mighty muscles in our butts that enable us to sit for long periods of time!

So I press the “Buy Now” button and pray that this is the restrictive and often bizarre diet, pill, potion, exercise machine or program that will work.

Then, the reality of what I had done, in my desperation to believe, becomes evident as they suck a recurring monthly and supposedly discounted fee off my credit card.

AND…

…let’s not forget the outrageously ridiculous shipping and handling fee I agreed to pay, and even agreed to pay extra to have it express shipped. God forbid I should wait another day for my miracle to arrive! After all I could be 10 pounds thinner before I arrive at Bingo this weekend.

Funny though, no matter how much I paid for shipping, the product always seems to come in about a week.

What I usually got in return was, a rewritten, rehashed version of some ridiculous diet that a supposedly halfway intelligent person, such as me, should have known better than to believe. No way could I do this for the rest of my life.

Worse yet, were the huge bottles of giant size herbal horse pills or fancy bottles of juice that gave me a rash or made me pee like a racehorse!!! Not a fun thing to have happen when you are at Bingo.

The one I am most embarrassed to admit that I bought into was the one that said all I had to do was breath… that’s right, just breath.

What on earth could I have been thinking?

But, let’s not forget, I did get it for a “discounted price”  because if I hadn’t pressed the “Buy Now” button NOW, my chances of getting this miraculous cure at a discounted price would have been gone forever!

I guess it was my severe desire to lose the 30 (OK…maybe 40) or so extra pounds that have over time, crept onto my body, which kept me pressing that darn button.

If only I had a ‘Diet Fairy God Mother’ that would wave her magic wand over my head…and poof!…I’m thin! I have begged that same Fairy God Mother to please let me win at Bingo. I guess on those nights her wand was broken.

But alas, the truth is I had to find a healthy, logical way of eating and exercising that I could live with.

Ever try to get one of those companies to stop charging your credit card?  After all, each and every one of these miracle cures comes with an “Iron Clad Guarantee” that states if you are not happy, for any reason, you can stop receiving shipments or even get your money back, even if you return an empty bottle.

Yeah, right!

The truth is it usually takes hours on the phone, IF, you can actually get a live person, and fighting with the credit card people to get it stopped.

So if you ever decide to just press the button, make sure you CAREFULLY read their policy on refunds. Write down the number of the company as well as the phone number, if it is different, from the cancellation dept.  Wouldn’t hurt to have their email addresses as well.

Many times you can only cancel by writing to the company. Post this information someplace where you can find it again.  Often you are given this cancellation phone number only one time, and that is when you actually place the order.

Of course, you truly believe with all your heart that this is the diet that will work for you.

Yup, this is it.

This is the one.

So why save the return information?

You will sadly realize why, when you need to figure out a way to stop it. Your credit card keeps getting billed and the product that you no longer wish to use piles up on the counter or sits in the corner collecting dust.

Now, I believe (?), not all of these company’s programs are scams.

I also believe (?) that every one of these diet plans, pills, potions, body sculpting equipment thingies, do come with just enough truth to help some of the people some of the time.

There is, however, no one system that can help everyone. If they state that they can, it is a lie. Everyone has a different reason why they are overweight. My problem might have been that I spent way too much time sitting in a chair at bingo eating greasy food and drinking gallons of soda. Ya think???

These companies are so clever and so adept at wording their introduction page with smoke and mirrors that they can solve all your weight loss problems, no matter who you are or how fat you are …  or even what health issues you may have!

Just press the button.

But, before you do, do your due diligence.  Look up the company on the internet.  Read everything you can find.  If the intro page is just a string of promises, and says nothing more, then I would press the exit button and not look back.

You must come to grips with the fact that there is no magic solution. The weight didn’t get on you overnight and it will not go away without some time, energy and effort.  Think it through and really look at what you are getting yourself into. Don’t get hooked into the latest ‘FAD’ diet. Look for a weight loss plan that is livable and logical.  Trust me, you won’t find that in a bottle … no matter how hard you “rub that bottle” …  a genie won’t come out!.

Use your common sense and look for the warning signs of a bad or “fad” diet. Sometimes all we need is a little bit of information that will teach us proper food portions. Give us a little insight in how to get our butts up off the couch and what to do once we get up.  Many of us have eaten so badly, for so long, and tried so many quick fixes, that we don’t really know where to start.  I hope you do, but please take my advice and do all the research you need to BEFORE you press that buy now button.  Good luck!

At first I wasn’t sure about posting this story because it is definitely a 3 tissue alert.  Nevertheless, it is too sweet a story not to tell.  Ya know sometimes life goes on around you.  You see things happen and don’t think much about it at the time, but then regret not doing something differently when it’s all over.  This is one of those stories.

 Every Friday night, Carol would arrive at bingo in a taxi with her 92 year old mother Miss Pearl.  Carol would lovingly walk her mother in, and the taxi driver would carry in their bingo bags and wish them  ‘good luck’ before leaving. “I’ll be back to get you at nine thirty ladies.” He would always say. “I’ll be parked right out front.”

The routine was always the same.  First Carol would place Miss Pearl’s thick bright pink bingo pillow on her Moms chair facing the big monitor so her Mom could see the numbers.  Then she’d get her mother’s bingo papers and make sure she had a hot cup of coffee with just the right amount of cream and sugar. They sat across from each other at a table by themselves so Carol could repeat the numbers because Miss Pearl was a little hard of hearing and they didn’t want to disturb anyone.  Repeating numbers in a bingo hall is often frowned upon.

Miss Pearl was so cute. She’d get so excited when she would win a bingo game and would always push the money over to her daughter, insisting she buy herself something with the winnings.

“I can’t take it with me,” she’d say, winking at her daughter, “and you could use a new dress.  That bright red one I saw you looking at.”

They were such a good team and the love and respect they shared for each other was very obvious.

Promptly at 9:30 they would gather up their bingo stuff.  Miss Pearl always insisted on helping by carrying out her own bingo pillow. As promised, the cab driver was waiting and would quickly jump out to open the cab door and help her in.  This went on for months, maybe more.  It went on for as long as I can remember.

Then one Friday they didn’t come.  I worried that Miss Pearl may have passed away.  She was after all, 92 years old. I asked around to see if anyone knew what happened to her.  Unfortunately I was saddened to find out that it was not Miss Pearl who had passed away, but her daughter Carol.  Even though I had never really gotten to know Carol, or Miss Pearl, I was still sad and wished I could see her sweet smile one more time. Several more weeks went by and as I was crossing the street to the bingo hall, I see the cab pull up.  The driver quickly jumped out and got Miss Pearl out of the cab onto the sidewalk and set her Bingo Bag by her feet.

Now Miss Pearl really didn’t know me, but I was so glad to see her, that I offered to help her walk to her seat as I had seen her daughter do so many times.

“No thank you miss” she said to me with that radiant smile. My gentleman told me to wait right here.  He went to park the car. “

I stood with her a moment until I saw this burley cab driver bound across the street carrying Miss Pearl’s bright pink pillow. He offered her his arm and walked her to her seat.  Tears welled in my eyes as I watched them.  The routine was so familiar.  He brought her coffee with just the right amount of cream and sugar. She instructed him on what papers he needed to get for her… and here is the part that got me…he bought bingo papers for himself and sat across from her so he could play bingo with her and repeat the numbers to her as her daughter had always done.

That night Miss Pearl won the last jackpot of the evening.  I don’t know who was more excited, her or her gentleman friend. When she received her prize money she immediately pushed it across the table and told him to buy something nice for himself. “Consider it a big tip!” she giggled.  At the end of the evening I saw him slip the money back into her bingo bag as he walked her to the door and instructed her to wait for him to get the cab.

Several weeks have passed since that night.  Last night the cab pulled up and I smiled thinking about the two of them playing bingo together.  But the cabdriver was alone.  He walked into the bingo hall carrying one single white rose and placed it at the table where he had sat with Miss Pearl. He said a little prayer, wiped his eyes with his big burly hands and left.  Miss Pearl had passed away the night before and it was clear that this kind taxicab driver had lost someone he had become very fond of.

I have done a lot of reflecting since then.  One of the things I always talk about is how you meet wonderful new friends at bingo.  Some you know their names, and others you know by their smile.  I didn’t find out Miss Pearls name until after it was too late to get to know her.  I wish I had because she must have been a very special lady to be loved so. Even though I didn’t know her name, I will miss her smile.

After reading this story, I hope you take the time to get to know some of the people you see at bingo every week. You might meet a new forever friend full of interesting stories or just someone really sweet… like Carol, Miss Pearl and a very kind, big, burly, taxicab driver.

Christmas is coming.

The losers gone home.

The winners gone shopping,

When good luck had shown.

The numbers kept coming,

And were daubed one by one.

Until that big jackpot,

Had finely been won!

So Wal-Mart get ready.

We’re on our way.

To shop for the grandkids,

And friends which we play.

May your Christmas be full,

Of good luck and good wealth.

And let’s not forget,

Love and  good health.

May ya’ll win a huge jackpot, and have a Merry Christmas!

Bodacious Bingo Babe

Arthritis…Especially Rheumatoid arthritis, is very painful and can really take the fun out of playing bingo when it becomes uncomfortable to even hold your dauber. Unfortunately this illness has increased about 50% from 10 years ago.  Being a sufferer of RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) myself, I did a little research to find something tolerable that would help.  The medications most doctors prescribe for this had so many warnings and side effects that I felt there had to be a better way.

My first discovery was that vitamin D most definitely has a very positive effect on your immune system.  If you are a wise Bingo Player, you can actually make the joint stiffness and joint pain virtually disappear by taking 600 to 800 IU of vitamin D a day with a Cod Liver oil supplement or even from drinking Vitamin D fortified milk.

Foods rich in omega 3 Fatty acids like tuna, mackerel or salmon help inflammation by up to 50%. This Bingo Babe personally does not care for fish so I have found that eating a handful of walnuts and adding flax to my morning cereal as well as a good omega-3 supplement has helped greatly.

Did you know that bingo players who eat less than 56 mg. of vitamin C were 3 times more likely to develop RA? An orange or fresh glass of OJ is a wonderful and healthy way to clean up the free radicals that inflame joints.

And last, but certainly not least is smoking. This is a hard one for this Bingo Babe because like most bingo players I do smoke and usually smoke even more when I play bingo. Then I found out after reading an article put out by the Northwest Hospital & Medical Center in Seattle, that smoking actually DOUBLES our chances of developing RA.

Most (but not all) bingo halls have a separate non-smoking room.  It looks like I need to rethink how much I want to smoke and start sitting in a non-smoking area.  I know this is easier said than done, but I will be reminded how important it is to me every time I hold my dauber and feel pain. I could stay home for a while and play bingo online while I try to quit. As you can see, I have also done my research on some of the most fun, safe and secure on line bingo sites available today.  This Bingo Babe’s best pick for online bingo is Desperate Housewives Bingo. (That would be me!)  I have found it to be a great way to meet new online friends and chat while you play bingo.  The site offers superior customer service and is always there to help.  Then of course there are the huge jackpots and a new game starts every six minutes.  Never a dull moment and with a new game starting every six minutes, it would make it easy to resist lighting another cigarette!

And yes, they’re always glad you came.

When the rest of my world becomes overwhelming and I just want to go to a cheerful place where everyone smiles when I walk in the door, this Bingo Babe heads to Bingo Palace.

To this day, when I walk toward the building where my passion for bingo began, I get butterflies in my stomach and have to resist the feeling to skip through the door like a child arriving at a party. The Bingo Palace is like my second home.  I know I will be welcomed “with a big smile” and the stress of the world will vanish when I go inside.

Playing bingo is like belonging to a big friendly club.  Once you learn the basics of the game, you can walk into any bingo hall, in Any Town, USA and almost be guaranteed to meet new friends. For me, it all began here, in a little southern town.

I have since played bingo all over the world, but Bingo Palace has always been my home base so to speak, and tonight along with the excitement of being with old friends, I feel lucky!

After the usual greeting and a quick update on family and friends, I make my way to my favorite seat as the smell of fresh coffee and something wonderful cooking in the kitchen fills my head.

I pass Jackie systematically taping all her papers together.  She stops chatting with her table of friends long enough to flash me a big smile and say hello.  Now this girl can play some bingo.  She is a true example of a player who has developed “Bingo eye”.  She can play and keep up with as many cards as she can reach.  She always arrives early enough to get herself organized, and as you can see by the photo, it has already paid off.

Pretty, yet quiet and unassuming, Amy has turned bingo into a true art. She organizes her playing field (a trait I assume by now you know I admire) and carefully plans how she will spend her bingo bucks to her best advantage.   Being the mother of five beautiful children, Amy relishes her time out of the house, yet considers and strategizes her game like a second job.  I guess when you keep a husband and five kids organized, taping together some papers and focusing on the task of looking for a number which leads to a bingo pattern has to be very relaxing.  She is an absolute joy to share a table with and goes out of her way to spread good luck to everyone around her.

Then there’s Miss Mary…Bless her heart… She always arrives looking like she just stepped out of a band box.  Tonight she had on her red, white and blue sparkly bingo finest.  Of course bingo earrings and a jingly bingo charm bracelet to match. But all that glitter was not nearly as beautiful as the big smile on her face when she raised her bingo hand on a stick to get the handsome, sweet and attentive Bucky’s attention that she had a bingo.  It’s always fun to stop by her table and look over the ever changing collection of bingo lucky charms.  One of my favorite outfits Miss Mary wears is her Betty Boop ensemble.   I’m here to tell ya’… right down to the cushion she sits on, she has everything imaginable with Betty Boop on it.
Mary…You are adorable!

So if you ever find your way to Palatka, Florida, stop and enjoy some bingo at “Gerrylin’s Bingo Palace” located at 201 St. Johns Avenue, phone 386-328-5822.

Linda, Sarah, Troy and Betty will be there to greet you with a big smile and make sure to answer all your questions.  There are 10 to 13 – $250 jackpots (depending on which night of the week it is) along with the regular scheduled games.  You can play high tech with Game Tech computers and they offer very nice computer and paper combos. There is a separate glassed in non-smoking room, clean well decorated restrooms and as they like to say “the friendliest and cheapest bingo in Florida!”

On Wednesday, Friday and Saturday the doors open at noon.  Blazing Quarters (one of my favorite games) begins at 3:30; Silent Speed games begin at 5:30; Early Birds at 6:00 and pack games at 6:30.

Sunday… the doors still open at noon but the Blazing Quarters games begin at 2:00; Silent Speed games begin at 4:30; Early Birds at 5:00 and pack games at 5:30.

Look around and see if I’m there. I’m usually the one wondering around chatting up a storm and looking for the next great bingo story to write, or stuffing my face with one of Sonya’s fabulous brownies….and oh yes, before I forget, if it’s your birthday (or better yet, your Mom’s birthday) you (or Mom) will get a birthday balloon tied to a new dauber and every time the ‘House Bingo Birthday Ball’ comes out, they will pay the birthday person a buck!

Hope to see ya there… and GOOD LUCK!